
On the face of it, one might consider the concept of a man cave sexist.
At a deeper level, itโs very arguably a sexist concept.
Kalani Ruidas published a thoughtful article titled โMan caves perpetuate patriarchyโ which states man caves are a sexist concept.
Her argument is โThe sewing room or craft room, to which a woman might retreat, is identified by the action that takes place there. By that token, a man cave is a place where a man devolves into a grunting subhumanโฆโ
She makes clear that thereโs nothing wrong for any person to have their private space, but why not call the private space by its purpose for both men and women. If the manโs private space is for model trains, call it the โtrain roomโ? If itโs for watching sports, why not the โbleacher roomโ? If itโs for drinking, why not the โbarโ?
In other words she takes issue with the language used. She states: โA man cave is essentially an emotional sanctuary for men to escape their responsibilities without the interruption of women or children. Itโs as if these men are victimizing themselves and require refuge to revel in their false sense of masculinity.โ
Man caves bathed in the patriarchโs light or adolescent buffoon light are showcased in media. Think Doug Heffernanโs man cave garage in King of Queens TV show for example.
What do I think?
If you read the comments of Kalani Ruidasโ article, youโll see plenty of the usual โnot sexist, lighten upโ lines of thought. I donโt agree. I think she makes a very good point.
Moreover, I think the language of โman caveโ is derogatory toward men. It connotes for me, and I think many other people, buffoonery; a place to be a slob, drink excessively and be sloth-like. Iโm not saying this happens in every man cave; Iโm saying it has that connotation.
For example, we donโt typically refer to a manโs home office as a man cave. Itโs referred to as โTomโs officeโ just as a wifeโs home office would be โSallyโs home officeโ. However, that home office could be a place to read, listen to music, attend to hobbies, etc.
Same thing with a shop. Itโs referred to as โTomโs shopโ referencing it via purpose like the โcraft roomโ example given by Kalani Ruidas.
While some men (and women) may refer to their home office or shop as the man cave, when done so, it adds a negative connotation to the space.
So while โman caveโ is arguably a sexist term, itโs also buffoonery.
This does not mean Iโm against masculine interior designs such as sports themes, a home pub, fabulous home theaters, etc. I just think calling it a man cave is not the best term.
Does the advent of the โShe Shedโ make a difference?
She Sheds are the equivalent of the man cave. It may be a place to read, craft, create things, write, pursue hobbies, etc.
Now that there are she sheds, is the playing field equal? Does it mitigate the sexism one attaches to man caves?
Maybe it does, maybe it doesnโt.
The she shed term (not concept) came after the man cave; itโs a response to the man cave terminology which connotes escape and solitude like a man cave, without the primitive connotation.
Itโs a more neutral term that doesnโt have a buffoonery sound to it, but itโs purpose is the same. While man cave is buffoonery in name, not all men devolve into gross pigs in the man cave.
Iโm sure the debate will continue, but no doubt the terminology and the rooms themselves will remain in effect and be built for many years to come.
