Here’s a love-letter roast from across the Turnpike: 25 very Pittsburgh things that make Clevelanders squint, shrug, or mutter, “only in Pittsburgh.” It’s all friendly rivalry—two proud Great Lakes/Rust Belt cousins with steel in their bones and sports in their veins.
But the quirks of the Three Rivers can tangle even the savviest Clevelander’s mental map, sandwich order, or sports logic. So grab a stadium beer (plastic cup, please), and let’s count down the head-scratchers from 25 to 1.
25. Counting Rivers Like They’re Street Addresses
Clevelanders are used to one big blue horizon—Lake Erie—plus a few familiar waterways. Pittsburgh insists on bragging about the three rivers, and somehow every photo angle finds all of them at once. A Clevelander visits, blinks, and suddenly there’s another bridge over another confluence. By the end of the weekend, you’re giving directions by hydrology like you’re auditioning for a weather job.
24. The Bridges That Multiply Overnight
Cleveland has iconic spans, but Pittsburgh collects bridges like trading cards. You cross one, take a right, and—surprise—there’s a twin in team colors waiting for you. Locals talk about bridges the way Clevelanders talk about neighborhoods and bar patios. Your GPS becomes a choose-your-own-adventure novel with a steel theme.
23. Sandwiches With a Side of… French Fries
Cleveland knows a good kielbasa or corned beef, but Pittsburgh throws fries and slaw into the sandwich like a dare. The first bite is confusion, the second bite is enlightenment, and the third is unbuttoning your coat. Clevelanders keep looking for the side dish section, but in Pittsburgh, it’s already between the bread. Chefs back home would call it “stacked”; Pittsburgh calls it Tuesday.
22. A Skyline That Comes With Its Own Intro Music
Clevelandites love the lakefront view, but Pittsburgh’s skyline pops out of a tunnel like a movie reveal. One minute you’re in concrete darkness, the next you’re staring at glass and rivers sparkling like a premiere night. It’s dramatic enough to make you apologize to your sunroof. Cleveland’s beauty is steady; Pittsburgh flips the “ta-da!” switch.
21. The Inclines Like Commuter Roller Coasters
Cleveland’s hills mind their manners; Pittsburgh straps you to a historic cable car and says, “Trust us.” The Duquesne and Monongahela inclines glide past living rooms and treetops like a slow parade. Clevelanders instinctively reach for a seatbelt and a camera at the same time. You call it transit; your stomach calls it an amusement ride.
20. A Language Dialect That Says “Yinz” With a Straight Face
Cleveland has “pop,” “Devon,” and “the Shoreway,” but Pittsburgh unlocks a whole dictionary. “Yinz,” “nebby,” and “redd up” land like inside jokes you missed. The words are warm, workmanlike, and oddly efficient. Clevelanders nod along while frantically running a translation app in their heads.
19. The Parking Chair Constitution
Clevelanders respect winter dibs, but Pittsburgh codified it in lawn furniture. A modest plastic chair becomes more binding than a notarized deed after a snowfall. Outsiders hesitate, then circle the block—nobody wants a neighborhood tribunal. In Cleveland, you shovel; in Pittsburgh, you legislate.
18. A Sports Towel With Diplomatic Immunity
Cleveland waves towels too, but Pittsburgh’s is a sacred textile you don’t even sit on. The Terrible Towel gets airtime, respect, and maybe its own voting district. Clevelanders bring a hat; Pittsburgh brings a fabric legacy. You don’t wipe a spill with history.
17. Stadiums That Keep Switching Surnames
Clevelanders still call it “the Jake,” and you can’t shame them. Pittsburgh changes stadium names like a corporate fashion show and everyone adapts. New sign, same roar, and the bridges don’t care either way. Cleveland keeps legacy nicknames; Pittsburgh updates the business card.
16. Pierogies That Have a Social Calendar
Cleveland cherishes pierogies, but Pittsburgh turns them into mascots, races, and food-truck celebrities. You’ll meet a pierogi costume on game day and then eat its cousin by the third inning. It’s both adorable and slightly unsettling. Clevelanders prefer their pierogies shy and sauced, not famous.
15. Neighborhoods That Act Like Small Towns
Cleveland’s East-Side/West-Side pride is real, but Pittsburgh’s neighborhoods are full-on fiefdoms. Lawrenceville and Bloomfield have distinct vibes like they filed for trademarks. Crossing from one to another feels like changing radio stations. A Clevelander asks for a “best of” list; Pittsburgh answers with a citywide festival.
14. The Eternal Steelers Dress Code
Clevelanders own Browns hoodies for every temperature, but Pittsburgh seems born in black and gold. Weddings, job interviews, and school concerts somehow sneak in a logo. You’ll see a baby blanket with a linebacker number. Cleveland wears fandom; Pittsburgh accessorizes with it.
13. Primetime Breakfast at Odd Hours
Cleveland brunches responsibly; Pittsburgh eats like the kitchen forgot the clock. Eggs, fries, slaw, and meat pile up at noon or midnight without apology. It’s the culinary version of a second shift. A Clevelander checks the time, then shrugs and orders coffee number three.
12. The Rivers Decide Your Itinerary
Lake Erie gives Clevelanders a broad horizon and a breeze. Pittsburgh’s rivers decide what bridge you’ll take, which bar patio gets sunset, and where your phone loses signal. The current sets your happy hour like a polite boss. In Cleveland, water frames the day; in Pittsburgh, it schedules you.
11. Tailgates That Feel Like Heritage Festivals
Cleveland tailgates hard—no debate—but Pittsburgh tailgates like a regional cookbook exploded. Sausage smoke mingles with pierogi pans and something unpronounceable but excellent. You learn three family recipes and one superstition before kickoff. Cleveland is loud; Pittsburgh is loud and marinated.
10. “Dahntahn” as a Destination and a Vibe
Cleveland says “downtown” and means business, cocktails, and Cavs. Pittsburgh says “dahntahn,” and it arrives with a wink, a shortcut, and a friend who knows a bouncer. The spelling itself feels like a map pin. A Clevelander types it correctly while hearing it incorrectly.
9. A Hockey Team That Never Met a Banner It Didn’t Like
Clevelanders respect the Monsters and love a packed arena night. Pittsburgh casually points to a constellation of Penguins trophies like wall art. It’s impressive in a “don’t trip over another Cup” way. Cleveland applauds, then studies the rebuild playbook twice.
8. Topography That Laughs at Straight Streets
Cleveland blocks are honest and forgiving. Pittsburgh roads prefer plot twists, hairpins, and scenic monologues. You don’t “miss a turn” so much as slip into a parallel narrative. A Clevelander returns to the hotel with a newfound respect for gridlines.
7. A Science for Snow on Hills
Cleveland snow strategy: clear, salt, repeat. Pittsburgh snow strategy: park diagonally, choose a bridge, and commit like a downhill racer. The whole city becomes a physics class with extra credit. Clevelanders watch, learn, and tighten their boot laces.
6. Coffee Shops That Double as Cartography Labs
Cleveland cafés are cozy and confident. Pittsburgh cafés come with chalk maps, annotated zines, and a barista who moonlights as a neighborhood historian. Your latte arrives with a suggested walking route. Cleveland sips; Pittsburgh briefs.
5. Sports Rivalries That Age Like Cast Iron
Cleveland and Pittsburgh have argued over football since radios had furniture legs. In Pittsburgh, the grudge is carefully seasoned, never washed, and ready for Sunday. You don’t discuss quarterbacks; you debate family tradition. Clevelanders recognize the recipe—and still bring extra spice.
4. A University Triangle That Feels Like a City Within a City
Cleveland has serious campuses and a cultural district to match. Pittsburgh’s Oakland triangle crowds hospitals, universities, and museums into one humming block party. You exit a lecture and stumble into dinosaur bones and a food truck. Cleveland plans a day; Pittsburgh crams three into an afternoon.
3. The Art of Making Left Turns a Negotiation
Cleveland signals, checks mirrors, and goes. Pittsburgh negotiates with the street grade, a bus, and a surprise one-way sign. The victory feels personal. Clevelanders arrive slightly early; in Pittsburgh, arrival is the plot twist.
2. Heinz Lore as Civic Scripture
Cleveland has brands it loves, but Pittsburgh treats Heinz like a family crest. Ketchup is not a condiment; it’s a biography. People tell bottle stories the way Clevelanders tell rock-and-roll stories. You nod, dip a fry, and whisper “amen.”
1. The Unshakable, Unapologetic Black-and-Gold Identity
Cleveland’s civic soul is grit, music, and lake wind. Pittsburgh’s is a stitched patch of black and gold that shows up everywhere at once. Bridges, jerseys, and bar stools seem to coordinate without a memo. Clevelanders may not understand it—but they respect how fiercely Pittsburgh does.
