Los Angeles can feel like a planet with its own laws of physics, especially to a Chicagoan who measures life by lake effect snow and grid-aligned streets. The sun behaves differently, time stretches in traffic, and tacos are a food group with diplomatic immunity. Instead of train lines and taverns, you navigate micro-neighborhoods and juice bars with the seriousness of a CTA map. So, with love for both cities, here are 25 things in LA that will always make a Chicagoan squint, shrug, and then secretly enjoy.
25. Ten Miles That Take an Afternoon
Chicagoans think in minutes per mile; Angelenos think in podcasts per errand. In LA, 10 miles can be a full narrative arc, complete with cliffhangers and credits. Locals plan departures like moon launches, checking winds, alignments, and the 405’s mood. The distance is short; the journey is epic.
24. Sunny December Without a Catch
A Chicago winter builds character and layered outfits; LA’s December builds picnic plans. People toss on a light sweater and call it “freezing,” which feels like a personal attack. Beaches have Christmas trees, and patios host holiday parties without heat lamps. Snow lives only in Instagram captions and distant mountain tops.
23. Green Juice as a Personality
In Chicago, breakfast is coffee and a sensible sandwich; in LA, it might be something cold-pressed and green. People discuss celery like it’s a stock pick. There’s a tasting vocabulary for kale that rivals wine notes. You’ll try it ironically and then wonder why you oddly feel great.
22. Earthquake Kits Instead of Snow Shovels
Chicagoans keep salt, scrapers, and backup gloves; Angelenos keep water jugs and crank radios. The emergencies are different, but the preparedness pride is the same. Practice drills replace plow routes as hometown lore. You’ll miss the hush of snowfall, but you won’t miss digging out your car.
21. The Outdoor Mall as Town Square
Instead of a corner tavern, LA has fountains, fairy lights, and a trolley looping around stores. People treat The Grove or Americana like civic centers. Movies, markets, and celebrity sightings all happen between eucalyptus trees. It’s cheesy and charming in equal measure.
20. “The Industry” Job Titles
In Chicago, your neighbor’s an accountant; in LA, they’re “in post” or “on a treatment.” Everyone’s producing, pitching, or punching up something. Meetings happen at coffee shops with script pages peeking from bags. You’ll learn to nod thoughtfully at acronyms and ask about loglines later.
19. Valet at a Taco Stand
The hot dog stand by Wrigley never had a rope line; LA’s best tacos might. You can hand your keys to someone in a vest for a plate that costs less than parking. Street food deserves respect here, and it gets it. You’ll laugh, then you’ll valet, then you’ll go back tomorrow.
18. Hiking as a Weekday Hobby
LA residents “grab a quick hike” like Chicagoans grab a quick beer. Trails begin where streets end, and city skylines share frames with canyon ridges. Sneakers acquire dust instead of slush. You’ll start keeping a spare water bottle in your trunk without thinking.
17. Dogs With Dining Reservations
Patios are packed with poodles, pitties, and purse-sized companions. Water bowls arrive before menus, and nobody blinks. In LA, every brunch is also a dog show. Suddenly, you have opinions about bandanas and harnesses.
16. Strip-Mall Sushi That Ruins You
In Chicago, great sushi is a destination; in LA, it hides between a dry cleaner and a nail salon. You’ll doubt the address and then have the best nigiri of your life. After that, neon signage becomes a treasure map. You’ll never judge a storefront again.
15. Micro-Neighborhood Map Obsession
Chicagoans debate North Side vs. South Side; LA debates streets you’ve never heard of. People pin identity to a single left turn off Sunset. Conversations become cartography with strong feelings about where the “real” Eastside begins. You’ll start saying “near” a lot to stay diplomatic.
14. Eastside vs. Westside as a Life Choice
Choosing a side in LA is like choosing a baseball team in Chicago. It dictates your coffee shops, your friends’ availability, and your podcast queue during commutes. Crossing over becomes a special occasion with snacks. You’ll insist you’re “bi-coastal” and then cancel when the 10 snarls.
13. Breakfast Burritos as Morning Religion
Deep-dish is a commitment; LA’s breakfast burrito is a hug. Eggs, potatoes, and salsa tucked into a tortilla beat the wind off Lake Michigan any day. People have tier lists and backup orders. You’ll find your spot and loyally defend it.
12. Early Nights and the Late-Night Food Drought
Chicago has 4 a.m. bars; LA has an early bedtime with a skincare routine. At 11 p.m., the city goes quiet except for drive-thrus and diners with cult followings. You learn to plan dinner like a matinee. Your nightcap becomes sparkling water and a sunrise hike.
11. Calling 65°F “Cold”
A Chicagoan’s spring jacket is an Angeleno’s winter survival kit. Scarves appear when you’re considering shorts. People discuss “a chill in the air” like an approaching storm. You’ll smirk, then borrow a hoodie after sunset.
10. Lemon Trees as Low-Stress Roommates
Backyards casually grow ingredients that require specialty stores in the Midwest. Neighbors leave citrus on stoops like spare Tupperware. Cocktails, salads, and marinades get an effortless upgrade. You’ll start bringing a tote bag to walk the dog, just in case.
9. January Beach Days
The water is cold, the sky is perfect, and the sand is full of volleyball games. Locals spread blankets like it’s July anywhere else. You’ll see sweaters and swimsuits coexist peacefully. Winter becomes sunscreen and a book.
8. Weekly Car-Wash Rituals
Salt eats cars in Chicago; dust merely annoys them in LA. Still, Angelenos treat the car wash like therapy. Vacuums hum, microfiber towels gleam, and the air smells faintly of coconut. You’ll time it between traffic waves and feel reborn.
7. Street-Sweeping as a Predatory Sport
In Chicago, you dread the boot; in LA, it’s the street-sweeping ticket. Entire blocks turn into tow-away chessboards for two hours. Locals memorize the calendar like holidays. You’ll move your car at dawn and feel like you won something.
6. The 405 as an Emotion, Not a Highway
This isn’t a road; it’s a character arc. People whisper about it like a superstitious sailor speaks of the sea. Plans are made “if the 405 allows.” You’ll learn alternate routes and a meditation technique.
5. Fire Season and the Santa Anas
Chicago has blizzards; LA has dry winds that turn the air electric. Residents track red-flag warnings the way Midwesterners track lake-effect snow. The sky can shift from postcard blue to eerie sepia. Respect replaces confusion very quickly.
4. Movies on Rooftops and Lawns
Open-air screenings feel like block parties with better lighting. People pack blankets, jackets, and gourmet snacks. The skyline becomes part of the set design. You’ll clap for a sunset and the opening credits.
3. Apartments Without In-Unit Laundry
In Chicago, washers hide in basements; in LA, they sometimes hide in your dreams. Coin-ops and shared rooms become weekly social hours. Everyone has a hack for drying things faster in low humidity. You’ll treasure a unit with a washer like a Cubs World Series ticket.
2. Rent That Buys You a Breeze
Square footage shrinks while the price tag leaps. Listings brag about “ocean air” like it’s a second bedroom. Outdoor space becomes your multipurpose room for dining, exercising, and existential crises. You’ll do the math, sigh, and still sign.
1. “On the Way” Means “Eventually”
In Chicago, fifteen minutes means fifteen minutes; in LA, time is elastic. “Leaving now” can mean “wrapping up this conversation and finding my keys.” Traffic becomes the universal alibi and shared antagonist. You’ll adapt, add a cushion, and arrive with sunglasses on and apologies ready.
