A stay-at-home mom on what would actually fall apart if she left for a week

Meet Jen (not her real name), 42, a stay-at-home mom living in a 2,600 sq ft. home in the Indianapolis suburbs with her husband and three kids, ages 15, 11 and 8. 

Here’s what an ordinary week actually looks like in their house, including who does what, what they spend too much money on, what they argue about and why apparently nobody but Jen knows how to change a toilet paper roll.

What’s on your fridge door right now?

School lunch calendar, Colts magnet, orthodontist appointment card, my youngest’s spelling test he got 100% on, two family pictures, a pizza coupon that is probably expired, and a grocery list nobody adds anything to until after I go shopping.

What kind of area?

Suburbs. Typical neighborhood with sidewalks and houses close together. Lots of families.

What kind of home?

Two story house, 4 bedrooms, built in the early 2000s. About 2,600 square feet plus a basement that is half finished.

Own or rent?

Own. Well the bank probably owns more of it than we do lol.

Household Income (Optional)

I think around $125,000. 

Who brings in the household income?

My husband. I stayed home after our second was born. I worked at a dental office before that and have done a little part time stuff here and there but nothing right now.

Who works outside the home?

My husband. He works for a company that sells commercial building supplies. Usually leaves around 7 and gets home around 5:30 unless there’s something going on at work and he needs to stay late.

If anyone works from home, where do they work in the home?

He works from home maybe one Friday a month and uses the dining room table even though we have a desk upstairs. Drives me nuts because then his laptop and papers are there all weekend.

Who does what?

Actually I forgot garbage. My husband does garbage.

Now tell me about yours.
Who does what, what falls apart when you leave, the rule everyone knows and what you do best for your household. Five minutes, use any name you like… Jen isn’t hers.
→ Add your household

How many nights a week does everyone eat dinner together?

Probably 4. It used to be almost every night but sports screwed that up.

Where do you usually eat?

Kitchen table. We have a dining room but basically never eat in there unless it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas.

What would fall apart if you left for a week?

The kids would survive but nobody would know where they were supposed to be. My husband could handle the food and laundry and all that. He’s not helpless. But he’d have no idea that Luke needs $8 for something at school on Thursday or that Emma has to wear her blue shirt Tuesday or that Ben needs picked up from practice instead of taking the bus.

Also nobody would change the toilet paper rolls. They would just keep setting new rolls on top of the empty one until I came home.

What’s one thing about running your household that you think you do particularly well? The thing other people should steal from you.

I keep a basket at the bottom of the stairs and anything that belongs upstairs goes in it. Whoever goes upstairs next is supposed to take the basket and put the stuff away.

I say “supposed to” because mostly I take it upstairs.

But the basket part works great.

What’s one thing your household does that other people might find strange?

We have assigned seats in the living room. Nobody officially assigned them. That’s just where everyone sits.

My husband has his recliner. I have the left side of the couch. The kids each have their spots. It works.

What’s the one house rule everyone in your household knows?

Don’t wake Mom up unless someone is bleeding or the house is on fire.

They still wake me up.

Where does your household spend the most time together?

Probably the kitchen and living room. 

Is there a room or space in your home you barely use?

Dining room, 100%. We bought a nice dining room table when we moved in because I thought we’d use it all the time. Now it holds Amazon boxes and stuff I need to return.

I’d get rid of the whole dining room if I could and make the kitchen bigger.

What’s one thing you wish you’d done differently?

Bought a house with a bigger mudroom or entry from the garage. Five people come through that door and there is nowhere for anything. Shoes, backpacks, sports bags, coats. 

When we bought the house I cared about the master bathroom. I should have cared about where five people put their shoes.

What’s something about your household you wouldn’t normally admit?

I throw things in closets before people come over. If you think my house is clean, do not open a closet.

Is there something you or your household spends money on other people would think wasteful?

DoorDash. It’s embarrassing. Last month my husband added it up and I told him I didn’t want to know lol.

My husband spends a ridiculous amount on lawn stuff. We have a company spray the yard and then he buys more stuff to put on it. 

What do you argue about the most?

Mess.

Not big messes either. Cups left everywhere. Shoes. Wet towels on the floor. Empty boxes left in the pantry.

My husband gets annoyed because I get annoyed and says “I’ll take care of it” which somehow makes me more annoyed.

Ben takes forever in the upstairs bathroom in the morning and Luke bangs on the door. We have another bathroom downstairs but apparently walking downstairs is impossible.

How similar is your household to the one you grew up in?

Somewhat similar.

What’s the biggest difference?

Our kids are busier than we were. My mom didn’t spend every evening driving us somewhere. We came home from school and were just home.

Now it feels like somebody always needs to be taken to practice, a friend’s house, tutoring, something at school. Our calendar looks ridiculous.

What did you swear you’d never do that your parents did?

Say “because I said so.”

I say it all the time.

I also swore I wouldn’t yell up the stairs when dinner was ready because my mom did that every single night.

Guess how I tell everyone dinner is ready.

Walk me through a normal weekday evening in your household.

Kids start getting home around 3. The younger two get snacks immediately and leave wrappers on the counter even though the garbage can is literally three feet away. My oldest usually goes straight upstairs unless he has practice.

I start dinner around 4:30 or 5 depending on who’s going where. My husband usually gets home around 5:30. He changes clothes pretty much immediately.

If nobody has sports we eat around 6 at the kitchen table. The kids complain about at least one thing I made. My husband eats basically anything so at least I have that going for me.

After dinner he usually cleans the kitchen if he’s home. I start a load of laundry or finish whatever I didn’t get done during the day. The kids are supposed to do homework. Whether actual homework is occurring upstairs I couldn’t tell you.

By 7:30 we’re usually in the living room. My husband watches TV. I’m usually on the couch looking at my phone while telling the kids to get off their phones, which I realize makes no sense.

Our daughter goes to bed around 9. Our 11 year old is supposed to go at 9:30 but stretches it to 10. I have no idea when the 15 year old actually goes to sleep. He becomes a different species after about 9 pm and only comes downstairs looking for food.

My husband falls asleep in his recliner probably three nights a week and then insists he wasn’t sleeping.

I usually go upstairs around 10:30 and discover at least one thing somebody needed to tell me six hours earlier.

Anything else you want to tell me?

Our house is probably messier than I make it sound but I actually like our house. I complain about everybody leaving stuff everywhere but I know someday there won’t be backpacks by the garage door and I’ll probably miss it.

I won’t miss the wet towels though.

Real names not used.

What I Noticed

Assigned seating, Doordash, chucking stuff into closets before company comes over and more mudroom space. My favorite comment is the don’t wake her up bit.